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Channel 10 presenter exposes on-air dress shaming

<p>Channel 10 presenter Narelda Jacobs has exposed a “humiliating” email she received from a viewer who commented on an outfit she wore on-air Tuesday. </p> <p>The Australian journalist, who hosts <em>10 News First</em>, wore a v-neck blouse and patterned blazer when she was reporting that day, when the unsolicited "feedback" came through. </p> <p>Jacobs shared a screenshot of the email that was sent to the Ten News group on Instagram. </p> <p>“Inappropriate dress sense for reading the news. Cleavage is for the nightclub,” the email read. </p> <p>Addressing the email, Jacobs began:  “Yes, we still receive emails like this. Yes, it went to the entire newsroom." </p> <p>“Yes, I was on air at the time. Yes, it is intended to shame and humiliate me," the 48-year-old added. </p> <p>“No, what I’m wearing is not inappropriate but your email sure is.”</p> <p>Followers took to the comments to back Jacobs, with fellow journalists sharing their own experience of receiving sexist criticism. </p> <p>Retired swimmer Giaan Rooney wrote:  “Yep. The number of emails the newsroom used to get attacking everything about my appearance when I was presenting the weather was incredible.” </p> <p><em>The Guardian</em> journalist Amy Remeikis recalled how “not that long ago” a woman felt that she had to “hide” her nine-year-old son from the TV when she was on-air.</p> <p>“Because he wanted to know why that woman (me) had ‘sex face’ and what my boobs were,” Remeikis wrote. “Had never seen breasts apparently, but could use the phrase ‘sex face’.”</p> <p><em>ABC Radio</em> host Yumi Stynes joked, “How dare you cleavage?” before complimenting Jacobs for her radiant look, while <em>Dessert Masters</em> judge Melissa Leong wrote, “File under ‘When you really hate yourself, so you decide to email random strangers to tell them.’”</p> <p>Comedian Janelle Koenig slammed the ‘feedback’ as “absolute insanity.”</p> <p>This comes after thousands attended <a href="https://www.oversixty.com.au/health/caring/it-s-up-to-men-anthony-albanese-joins-violence-against-women-rally" target="_blank" rel="noopener">rallies</a> in late April calling on the government to take action against the recent spate of acts of violence against women. </p> <p><em>Image: Instagram</em></p>

TV

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Don’t give mum chocolates for Mother’s Day. Take on more housework, share the mental load and advocate for equality instead

<div class="theconversation-article-body"><em><a href="https://theconversation.com/profiles/leah-ruppanner-106371">Leah Ruppanner</a>, <a href="https://theconversation.com/institutions/the-university-of-melbourne-722">The University of Melbourne</a></em></p> <p>With Mother’s Day right around the corner, many grateful and loving families are thinking about what to give mum to show their appreciation.</p> <p>Should you give her chocolate? Nope. Fancy soaps? Nope. Fuzzy slippers, pyjamas, scented candles? No, no and no.</p> <p>On this Mother’s Day, keep your cash and give your wonderful mother gifts that will actually have a long-term impact on her health and well-being.</p> <h2>1. Do a chore that mum hates and hold onto it … forever</h2> <p>Research <a href="https://www.tandfonline.com/doi/full/10.1080/13545701.2020.1831039">shows</a> men have increased the amount of time spent on housework and childcare and that mothers, over time, are doing less (hooray!).</p> <p>But, women <a href="https://onlinelibrary.wiley.com/doi/abs/10.1111/j.1741-3737.2008.00479.x">still do more housework</a> than men, especially when <a href="https://onlinelibrary.wiley.com/doi/full/10.1111/gwao.12497?fbclid=IwAR2dp04p2sFqbDqdehXmXgDSfTYwX3GRzP7ScMJhSOrMePTGQVErR2TTX88">kids are in the home</a>.</p> <p>Further, <a href="https://journals.sagepub.com/doi/abs/10.1177/0891243205285212">men tend to pick up the more desirable tasks</a>, like <a href="https://www.jstor.org/stable/3598304">cooking and playing with the kids</a>, leaving mothers to do the less pleasurable chores (think cleaning toilets and clearing out fridges).</p> <p>The chore divide in same-sex relationships is generally found to be more equal, but some critique suggests equality may suffer <a href="https://www.nytimes.com/2018/05/16/upshot/same-sex-couples-divide-chores-much-more-evenly-until-they-become-parents.html">once kids are involved</a>.</p> <p>This year give your mum (or mums) the gift of equal housework and childcare sharing – start by taking the most-hated tasks and then hold onto them… forever.</p> <p><a href="https://onlinelibrary.wiley.com/doi/full/10.1111/gwao.12727">Research</a> shows housework inequality is bad for women’s mental health. Undervaluing women’s housework and unequal sharing of the chores deteriorates <a href="https://link.springer.com/article/10.1007/s11199-022-01282-5">relationship quality</a>, and <a href="https://journals.sagepub.com/doi/full/10.1177/0038038516674664">leads to divorce</a>.</p> <p>Housework and childcare take up valuable time to keep the family happy, harmonious and thriving, often at the expense of mum’s health and well-being.</p> <p>So, skip the chocolates and show mum love by doing the worst, most drudgerous and constant household chores (hello, cleaning mouldy showers!) and keep doing these… forever.</p> <h2>2. Initiate a mental unload</h2> <p>The <a href="https://www.abc.net.au/news/health/2017-09-14/the-mental-load-and-what-to-do-about-it/8942032">mental load</a> is all of the planning, organising and management work necessary to keep the family running.</p> <p>The mental load is often perceived as list making or allocating tasks to family members.</p> <p>But, it’s so much more – it is the <a href="https://theconversation.com/planning-stress-and-worry-put-the-mental-load-on-mothers-will-2022-be-the-year-they-share-the-burden-172599">emotional work</a> that goes with this thinking work.</p> <p>The mental load is the worry work that never ends and can be done <a href="https://www.tandfonline.com/doi/abs/10.1080/13668803.2021.2002813">anywhere, anytime and with anyone</a> (in, for example, said mouldy shower).</p> <p>Because the mental load is performed inside our heads, it is invisible. That means we don’t know when we or others are performing this labour unless we really tune in.</p> <p>In fact, it is often when we tune in through quiet time, relaxation or meditation that the mental load rears its ugly head. Suddenly you remind yourself to buy oranges for the weekend soccer game, organise a family movie night and don’t forget to check in on nanna.</p> <p>Women in heterosexual relationships are <a href="https://journals.sagepub.com/doi/abs/10.1177/0003122419859007">shown to do more</a> of the mental load with serious consequences for their mental health. But we don’t have a comprehensive measurement of how much women do it nor how it is allocated in same-sex couples.</p> <p>So, on this mothers’ day spend some time talking about, cataloguing, and equalising the family’s mental load.</p> <p>This isn’t just making a list about what has to be done but also understanding <a href="https://www.abc.net.au/news/health/2017-09-14/the-mental-load-and-what-to-do-about-it/8942032">how the mental load</a> connects to the emotional health of the family, and the person carrying this <a href="https://www.newamerica.org/better-life-lab/blog/making-the-mental-load-visible/">invisible labour, worry and stress</a>.</p> <h2>3. Speak up for your mum and all caregivers</h2> <p>Families alone cannot bear the brunt of the caregiving necessary to keep us thriving.</p> <p>Governments, workplaces and local communities also play a critical role. For this mothers’ day, pick an issue impacting mothers (for example, equal pay, affordable childcare or paid family leave) and do one thing to help move the needle.</p> <p>Write a letter to your boss, your local MP, or donate money to an advocacy organisation advancing gender equality.</p> <p>Or, role model these behaviours yourself – normalise caregiving as a critical piece of being an effective worker, create policies and practices that support junior staff to care for themselves, their families and their communities and use these policies.</p> <p><a href="https://journals.sagepub.com/doi/abs/10.1177/0891243216649946">Research</a> shows men want to be equal carers and sharers but often fear what taking time off for caregiving will signal to their employer despite evidence that fathers who request flexible work are perceived more <a href="https://academic.oup.com/sf/article-abstract/94/4/1567/2461609?login=false">favourably</a>.</p> <p>Appearing to be singularly devoted to work was shown to be impossible during the pandemic with kids, spouses, partners, and pets home all day long.</p> <p>Learning to create more care-inclusive workplaces and communities is critical.</p> <p>Paid parental leave, affordable and accessible high-quality childcare, flexibility in how, when and where we work and greater investments in paid sick leave, long-term disability support and aged care are just a few policies that would strengthen the care safety net.</p> <p>We will all be called upon to care at some point in our lives – let’s create the environments that support caregiving for all, not just mum.<!-- Below is The Conversation's page counter tag. Please DO NOT REMOVE. --><img style="border: none !important; box-shadow: none !important; margin: 0 !important; max-height: 1px !important; max-width: 1px !important; min-height: 1px !important; min-width: 1px !important; opacity: 0 !important; outline: none !important; padding: 0 !important;" src="https://counter.theconversation.com/content/182330/count.gif?distributor=republish-lightbox-basic" alt="The Conversation" width="1" height="1" /><!-- End of code. If you don't see any code above, please get new code from the Advanced tab after you click the republish button. The page counter does not collect any personal data. More info: https://theconversation.com/republishing-guidelines --></p> <p><em><a href="https://theconversation.com/profiles/leah-ruppanner-106371">Leah Ruppanner</a>, Professor of Sociology and Founding Director of The Future of Work Lab, <a href="https://theconversation.com/institutions/the-university-of-melbourne-722">The University of Melbourne</a></em></p> <p><em>Image credits: Getty Images </em></p> <p><em>This article is republished from <a href="https://theconversation.com">The Conversation</a> under a Creative Commons license. Read the <a href="https://theconversation.com/dont-give-mum-chocolates-for-mothers-day-take-on-more-housework-share-the-mental-load-and-advocate-for-equality-instead-182330">original article</a>.</em></p> </div>

Family & Pets

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Nicole Kidman's daughters help celebrate mum's historic first

<p>Nicole Kidman taken to the red carpet with her family in tow for a rare appearance, as Nicole accepted a lifetime achievement award. </p> <p>The Aussie actress was joined by her husband Keith Urban and their two daughters, Sunday, 15, and Faith, 13, who were all dressed to the nines for the occasion.</p> <p>Nicole was also surrounded by her sister Antonia Kidman, brother-in-law Craig Marran and their family for the glitzy event. </p> <p>The 56-year-old actress has now become the first Australian to win the American Film Institute Lifetime Achievement Award, with the award often being dubbed the highest honour in American cinema. </p> <p>The accolade has also been won by the likes of Julie Andrews, Al Pacino, Denzel Washington, George Clooney, Meryl Streep Morgan Freeman and many other iconic figures in the industry. </p> <p>The Academy Award winner who grew up in Sydney said on social media she was "deeply moved" to receive such a prestigious award. </p> <p>"Thank you to all of you and to the American Film institute for including me in this illustrious group of honorees — now let's have some fun!" she wrote on Instagram. </p> <p>When announcing Kidman as the recipient of the award, AFI released a statement saying, "Both a powerhouse performer, spellbinding movie star and accomplished producer, Nicole Kidman has captured the imaginations of audiences throughout her prolific career, delivering complex and versatile performances on-screen."</p> <p>"She is a force both brave in her choices and bold in each performance. AFI is honoured to present her with the 49th AFI Life Achievement Award."</p> <p><em>Image credits: Getty Images </em></p>

Family & Pets

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Huge reward to help solve cold case of missing mum

<p>Police are offering a $500,000 reward for information to help solve a cold case that suspect was a murder. </p> <p>Tammy Lisa Dyson, also known as Tamela Menzies, was 23 when went missing from the Currumbin area in 1995. </p> <p>The mother of two was picked up from a drug rehab clinic by a woman claiming to be her sister on July 20, 1995 and has not been seen since. </p> <p>Dyson was born and raised in Victoria before moving to Brisbane in 1988, where she worked in the adult entertainment industry under the nickname "Pebbles". </p> <p>Police believe she began mixing with criminals and using drugs while working in strip clubs on the Gold Coast.</p> <p>In early 1995 Dyson arranged for her young sons, Jyles and Rainey, to stay with their grandmother in Victoria temporarily.</p> <p>A few months later she made a distressed call to her sister Olivia, who said she had been assaulted. </p> <p>Olivia and her partner then dropped Dyson off to a drug rehabilitation centre at Currumbin on the Gold Coast, and on July 20, 1995 she was picked up by someone claiming to be her sister. </p> <p>The following day, Tammy completed a statutory declaration signed by a Justice of the Peace in Tweed Heads, giving custody of her children and her possessions to her mother.</p> <p>She also called her sister one last time, with Olivia recalling that Tammy "didn't sound like herself" and she had mentioned underworld figures. </p> <p>Police have received a number of reported sightings of Tammy since 1995 but all proof of life inquiries have  been proven negative.</p> <p>In 2012, the Queensland coroner said that they believed Tammy was deceased and indicated that she may have been a victim of violence, although a certain date, time and cause of death have not been determined. </p> <p>Police are now offering the huge reward for new information and immunity from prosecution for any accomplice who comes forward.</p> <p>"Tammy associated with criminals that were known to police and vanished without a trace after giving custody of her children and possessions to her mother; we believe the circumstances of her disappearance is suspicious," Detective Senior Sergeant Tara Kentwell said.</p> <p>On Wednesday, her sons, who were only three and one when their mother disappeared, made an emotional appeal for public help to find her. </p> <p>"Growing up without mum and not knowing what happened to her has been very hard," Jyles Lebler said through tears during a media conference. </p> <p>"Whoever has picked her up, I'm not saying they have done something but they must know something bad has happened."</p> <p>"We hope we find out what to mum to give grandma some closure before it's too late," Rainey added.</p> <p><em>Images: Queensland Police</em></p>

Legal

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Heartbreaking twist after mum dies on her way to a wedding

<p>A mother has been killed in a horrific car crash while on her way to a wedding in regional NSW, just hours after announcing she was expecting her third child. </p> <p>Shellymaine Ah Foon, 32, her partner Troy, and their two young daughters, aged six and two, were on their way to a wedding in Mudgee, NSW when their SUV crashed at Aarons Pass, about 2pm on Friday. </p> <p>Foon was left with critical injuries and was taken to Mudgee hospital, but soon passed away. </p> <p>Her partner was seriously injured and airlifted to Westmead Hospital to undergo surgery after suffering several fractures to both limbs on his left side. </p> <p>Their two daughters were also taken to the same hospital. </p> <p>A family member, who wished to remain anonymous, confirmed the sad detail to 7News. </p> <p>“We spoke to Shelly on the Thursday night, and she told us she was pregnant,” she said. </p> <p>“She was meant to go for tests when she came back from Mudgee to see how far along she was.”</p> <p>Foon was remembered as a "social butterfly" who could “strike up a conversation with anyone.” </p> <p>“She was very family oriented, was always there for anyone who needed anything, she was very selfless with her time,” the family member said. </p> <p>“Her death has really impacted a whole community of people,” she added. </p> <p>A <a href="https://www.gofundme.com/f/in-loving-memory-of-shellymaine-ah-foon" target="_blank" rel="noopener">GoFundMe</a> page has since been organised to help cover funeral costs, support Troy following his surgery, and help Foon's family, who are largely based overseas. </p> <p>“Troy won’t be able to go to work while he recovers,” the woman said.</p> <p>“He still has to undergo rehab, and he will be on crutches for some time.”</p> <p>Their two daughters have since been discharged from the hospital, and are in the care of family while Troy recovers. </p> <p>The family friend added that Foon's love for her kids was exceptional saying: “she was the light of Troy and her girls’ lives.</p> <p>“Their world has changed forever and the love their Mum gave them will never be replicated ever again.”  </p> <p>Police said investigations are still underway into the circumstances leading up to the crash, with the other driver taken to Mudgee Hospital with minor injuries. </p> <p><em>Images: 7News</em></p>

Caring

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The problem with shaming people for Auschwitz selfies

<p><em><a href="https://theconversation.com/profiles/craig-wight-1514086">Craig Wight</a>, <a href="https://theconversation.com/institutions/edinburgh-napier-university-696">Edinburgh Napier University</a> and <a href="https://theconversation.com/profiles/phiona-stanley-1514087">Phiona Stanley</a>, <a href="https://theconversation.com/institutions/edinburgh-napier-university-696">Edinburgh Napier University</a></em></p> <p>Selfies have become the modern day equivalent of postcards, a way to share our travel experiences with family and friends on social media. It’s one thing to strike a goofy pose and snap a photo for Instagram on a beach or town square, but what if you are visiting a Holocaust memorial site?</p> <p>Taking fun, playful, even silly selfies at <a href="https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC9566811/">dark tourism</a> sites such as <a href="https://www.dazeddigital.com/life-culture/article/45182/1/chernobyl-grenfell-tower-unpacking-the-rise-of-the-dark-tourism-tragedy-selfie">Chernobyl</a> Japan’s <a href="https://www.selondoner.co.uk/life/12122023-dark-tourism-in-london">“suicide forests”</a> or concentration camps has become a regular occurrence. It is widely regarded as controversial and distasteful.</p> <p>In 2017, Israeli-German artist Shahak Shapira launched a project aimed at shaming visitors taking selfies at the Memorial to the Murdered Jews of Europe in Germany. The project was <a href="https://yolocaust.de/">called Yolocaust</a> – a portmanteau of internet slang Yolo (you only live once) and Holocaust. It juxtaposed historical photos of Nazi murder victims with visitors’ photos of themselves, juggling and jumping, posing and playing at the Berlin memorial.</p> <p>Ever since, online vigilantes have been empowered to shame Holocaust-site selfie takers on social media. Many have used “yolocaust” in comments as shorthand for censure, judgement, and moral panic.</p> <p>We <a href="https://www.tandfonline.com/doi/full/10.1080/02508281.2022.2153994">analysed hundreds</a> of these posts, captions and comments to see how the selfie-takers are perceived and punished by others online. We examined posts with location tags at the Auschwitz Memorial Museum in Poland and the Memorial to the Murdered Jews of Europe in Berlin.</p> <p>Based on our analysis, we think it may be better that young people engage with Holocaust sites in their own way, rather than not engaging at all. We also suggest that some commenters may be just as guilty as the selfie-takers, using their comments to show themselves in a positive light. Paradoxically, this is precisely what they are shaming the selfie-takers for doing: centering themselves, using the Holocaust as a prop.</p> <p>Vigilantism and public shaming has been around for centuries – think angry villagers with pitchforks raised. Vigilantes take it upon themselves to prevent, investigate and punish perceived wrongdoings, usually without legal authority.</p> <p>Online vigilantes (often called “<a href="https://doi.org/10.1093/bjc/azv118">digilantes</a>”) punish others for perceived transgressions online. They act when they feel that someone has committed a crime or social wrongdoing on the internet as a form of <a href="https://www.pewresearch.org/internet/2021/05/19/americans-and-cancel-culture-where-some-see-calls-for-accountability-others-see-censorship-punishment/">cancel culture</a>. There is, of course, a fine line between constructively questioning someone’s choices and publicly shaming them.</p> <h2>Who gets shamed?</h2> <p>We found that it wasn’t just any photo (we also looked at non-selfie tourist photos) that attracted online shaming. Some people were more likely to receive negative comments than others, depending on age, gender, cultural identity, photo pose, facial expression and the captions accompanying the photos.</p> <p>Younger, more conventionally attractive people – especially women, and especially people posting in English or German – attracted many negative comments. In contrast, older and less conventionally “sexy” selfie-takers, men, and those posting in, for example, Italian or Russian tended to be ignored.</p> <p>Some of these patterns appear related to how young women are often sexualised and <a href="https://www.tandfonline.com/doi/full/10.1080/14680777.2018.1447345">demeaned online</a>, especially when it comes to the selfies of women holding their bodies in “model-like” poses. To some commenters, it appears more acceptable to shame those who society already deems unserious and flippant.</p> <p>Location was also important. While the Berlin Memorial saw plenty of tourist behaviour deemed “disrespectful” by commenters, it was rare to encounter selfie-taking at Auschwitz. This may because Auschwitz is a paid visitor attraction offering structured tours.</p> <p>In contrast, the Berlin memorial is an art installation, always open and part of the streetscape. Its purpose and meaning may not be immediately apparent. This leaves room for the possibility that some Holocaust-site selfie-taking is an innocent, accidental part of tourism in Berlin.</p> <p>Another predictor of negative comments was the captions on the photos we examined. If the caption was flippant or suggested a lack of serious engagement with Holocaust history and memory, the photo attracted more critical comments. Those who made some attempt to justify or even intellectualise their selfie-taking were often excused censure.</p> <p>In one example, a young woman is pictured jumping between the concrete slabs of the Berlin memorial. But her picture is accompanied by a careful caption that explicitly questions whether her behaviour is ethical.</p> <p>She writes, “One part of you comes out, simply wanting to explore the structure for what it is physically. Another part of you says that you cannot take part in anything that brings you joy here”. As the caption appears to neutralise the fun selfie, her post escapes critical comments.</p> <h2>Think before you shame</h2> <p>Although the Auschwitz Memorial Museum <a href="https://twitter.com/AuschwitzMuseum/status/1108337507660451841?lang=en">tells visitors not to take selfies</a>, and while playful selfie-taking seems disrespectful, we don’t think it should be banned, as some online commenters have called for.</p> <p>We argue that it is more important to keep alive – however clumsily and imperfectly – the memory of the more than six million Jews and <a href="https://holocausteducation.org.uk/wp-content/uploads/1.-Non-JewishVictimsOfNaziPersecutionMurder-Digital.pdf">millions of others</a> who were killed by the Nazis. Perhaps this is best done through people living their ordinary, complex, messy and often joyous lives, precisely as the Nazis’ victims could not.</p> <p>We also think it is important to question the motives of digilantes themselves. Some seem to be using their comments to display their own moral superiority, rather than trying to educate or influence the behaviour of the selfie-takers.</p> <p>Before you join the ranks of the digilantes and comment on something you think is disrespectful, think about why you’re doing it – these images, their captions and the comments show that there is often more nuance to “ethical” behaviour than can be captured in a photo.<!-- Below is The Conversation's page counter tag. Please DO NOT REMOVE. --><img style="border: none !important; box-shadow: none !important; margin: 0 !important; max-height: 1px !important; max-width: 1px !important; min-height: 1px !important; min-width: 1px !important; opacity: 0 !important; outline: none !important; padding: 0 !important;" src="https://counter.theconversation.com/content/224304/count.gif?distributor=republish-lightbox-basic" alt="The Conversation" width="1" height="1" /><!-- End of code. If you don't see any code above, please get new code from the Advanced tab after you click the republish button. The page counter does not collect any personal data. More info: https://theconversation.com/republishing-guidelines --></p> <p><em><a href="https://theconversation.com/profiles/craig-wight-1514086">Craig Wight</a>, Associated Professor in Tourism, <a href="https://theconversation.com/institutions/edinburgh-napier-university-696">Edinburgh Napier University</a> and <a href="https://theconversation.com/profiles/phiona-stanley-1514087">Phiona Stanley</a>, Associate Professor of Intercultural Communications (Tourism and Languages), <a href="https://theconversation.com/institutions/edinburgh-napier-university-696">Edinburgh Napier University</a></em></p> <p><em>Image credits: Getty Images </em></p> <p><em>This article is republished from <a href="https://theconversation.com">The Conversation</a> under a Creative Commons license. Read the <a href="https://theconversation.com/the-problem-with-shaming-people-for-auschwitz-selfies-224304">original article</a>.</em></p>

International Travel

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How to look after your mental health while packing up Mum or Dad’s home

<p><em><a href="https://theconversation.com/profiles/erika-penney-1416241">Erika Penney</a>, <a href="https://theconversation.com/institutions/university-of-technology-sydney-936">University of Technology Sydney</a>; <a href="https://theconversation.com/profiles/alice-norton-1516505">Alice Norton</a>, <a href="https://theconversation.com/institutions/university-of-sydney-841">University of Sydney</a>, and <a href="https://theconversation.com/profiles/avalon-tissue-1515840">Avalon Tissue</a>, <a href="https://theconversation.com/institutions/university-of-sydney-841">University of Sydney</a></em></p> <p>So Mum or Dad has died, or moved to aged care, and now you’ve got to pack up their house. It’s a huge job and you’re dreading it.</p> <p>It’s normal to feel grief, loss, guilt, exhaustion or even resentment at being left with this job.</p> <p>So how can you look after your mental health while tackling the task?</p> <h2>It’s OK to feel a lot of feelings</h2> <p>Research has documented how this task can exert an intense <a href="https://www.tandfonline.com/doi/full/10.1080/15267431.2021.1943399">physical and emotional toll</a>.</p> <p>This can be more intense for those who had strained – or even <a href="https://journals.sagepub.com/doi/epub/10.1177/0030222819868107">traumatic</a> – relationships with the person whose house they’re packing up.</p> <p>Decisions around distributing or discarding items can, in some families, bring up painful reminders of the past or end up <a href="https://journals.sagepub.com/doi/10.1177/1074840711428451">replaying strained dynamics</a>.</p> <p>Family members who were carers for the deceased may feel exhaustion, overwhelm, <a href="https://onlinelibrary.wiley.com/doi/abs/10.1002/hec.1512?sid=vendor%3Adatabase">burnout</a> or a sense of injustice they must now continue to be responsible for their loved one’s affairs. Grief can be compounded by the practical challenges of deciding how to <a href="https://doi.org/10.1016/0148-2963(94)00054-I">store or discard belongings</a>, <a href="https://www.jstor.org/stable/30000385">arrange the funeral</a>, execute the will, deal with the aged care place or, in some cases, navigate legal disputes.</p> <p>But packing up the house may also be cathartic or helpful. <a href="https://www.tandfonline.com/doi/full/10.1080/15267431.2021.1943399">Research</a> has shown how the task of cleaning out a loved one’s belongings can provide an opportunity for family and friends to talk, share memories, and make sense of what has just happened.</p> <p>It’s also normal to grieve before someone dies. What psychologists call “<a href="https://pubmed.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/29206700/">anticipatory</a> grief” can happen to <a href="https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC1615888/">relatives packing up the house</a> of a parent who has moved to aged care or palliative care.</p> <h2>What to do with all this stuff?</h2> <p><a href="https://doi.org/10.1016/0148-2963(94)00054-I">Some</a> treat their loved one’s items with sanctity, holding onto as many of their belongings as possible and creating “shrines” in their honour.</p> <p>Others alleviate the weight of grief by clearing out a loved one’s house as soon as possible, giving away, selling or discarding as much as they can.</p> <p>But if you experience a mix of these – enthusiastically getting rid of some stuff, while desperately wanting to hold onto other things – that’s OK too.</p> <p>One <a href="https://www.tandfonline.com/doi/abs/10.1080/10253866.2017.1367677">study</a> identified a process punctuated by four key periods:</p> <ol> <li> <p>numbness and overwhelm at the task of packing the house</p> </li> <li> <p>yearning to maintain a link to the loved through their belongings</p> </li> <li> <p>working through grief, anger and guilt regarding the loved one and the task of managing their belongings, and</p> </li> <li> <p>healing and making sense of the relationship with the deceased and their belongings.</p> </li> </ol> <p>However, it is important to note everyone’s approach is different and there is no “right” way to do the clean out, or “right” way to feel.</p> <h2>Caring for your mental health during the clean out</h2> <p>To care for your mental health during these difficult times, you might try to:</p> <ul> <li> <p>make space for your feelings, whether it’s sadness, loss, resentment, anger, relief or all the above. There is no right or wrong way to feel. <a href="https://guilfordjournals.com/doi/abs/10.1521/jscp.2011.30.2.163">Accepting</a> your emotions is healthier than suppressing them</p> </li> <li> <p>share the load. <a href="https://onlinelibrary.wiley.com/doi/abs/10.1046/j.1365-2648.1999.01220.x">Research</a> has shown practical support from close friends and family can help a lot with grief. Accept help with packing, planning, dealing with removalists, selling or donating items and cleaning. Don’t be afraid to reduce your mental load by delegating tasks to friends, who are likely wondering how they can help</p> </li> <li> <p>take a systematic approach. Break tasks into their smallest component. For example, aim to clean out a drawer instead of an entire bedroom. This can help the mental and physical task feel more manageable</p> </li> <li> <p>reflect on what’s meaningful to you. Some belongings will have <a href="https://doi.org/10.1016/0148-2963(94)00054-I">meaning</a>, while others will not. What was valuable to the deceased may not be valuable to you. Things they probably saw as pretty worthless (a handwritten shopping list, an old sewing kit) may be very meaningful to you. Ask yourself whether retaining a small number of meaningful possessions would allow you to maintain a connection with your loved one, or if clearing out the space and discarding the items is what you need</p> </li> <li> <p>share your story. When you feel ready, share your “<a href="https://www.tandfonline.com/doi/full/10.1080/15267431.2021.1943399">cleaning out the closet</a>” story with trusted friends and family. Storytelling allows the deceased to live on in memory. <a href="https://onlinelibrary.wiley.com/doi/abs/10.1046/j.1365-2648.1999.01220.x">Research</a> also suggests we cope better with bereavement when friends and relatives make time to hear our feelings</p> </li> <li> <p>remember that professional help is available. Just as a solicitor can help with legal disputes, a mental health professional can help you process your feelings.</p> </li> </ul> <p>The home of your loved one is not merely a place where they lived, but a space filled with meaning and stories.</p> <p>Packing up the house of a loved one can be incredibly daunting and challenging, but it can also be an important part of your grieving process.</p> <p><em>If this article has raised issues for you, or if you’re concerned about someone you know, call Lifeline on 13 11 14.</em><!-- Below is The Conversation's page counter tag. Please DO NOT REMOVE. --><img style="border: none !important; box-shadow: none !important; margin: 0 !important; max-height: 1px !important; max-width: 1px !important; min-height: 1px !important; min-width: 1px !important; opacity: 0 !important; outline: none !important; padding: 0 !important;" src="https://counter.theconversation.com/content/223956/count.gif?distributor=republish-lightbox-basic" alt="The Conversation" width="1" height="1" /><!-- End of code. If you don't see any code above, please get new code from the Advanced tab after you click the republish button. The page counter does not collect any personal data. More info: https://theconversation.com/republishing-guidelines --></p> <p><a href="https://theconversation.com/profiles/erika-penney-1416241">E<em>rika Penney</em></a><em>, Lecturer in Clinical Psychology, <a href="https://theconversation.com/institutions/university-of-technology-sydney-936">University of Technology Sydney</a>; <a href="https://theconversation.com/profiles/alice-norton-1516505">Alice Norton</a>, Lecturer in Psychology, <a href="https://theconversation.com/institutions/university-of-sydney-841">University of Sydney</a>, and <a href="https://theconversation.com/profiles/avalon-tissue-1515840">Avalon Tissue</a>, Associate Lecturer in Clinical Psychology, <a href="https://theconversation.com/institutions/university-of-sydney-841">University of Sydney</a></em></p> <p><em>Image credits: Getty Images</em></p> <p><em>This article is republished from <a href="https://theconversation.com">The Conversation</a> under a Creative Commons license. Read the <a href="https://theconversation.com/how-to-look-after-your-mental-health-while-packing-up-mum-or-dads-home-223956">original article</a>.</em></p>

Caring

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A young mum's inspiring journey through pregnancy and cancer

<p>In the midst of life's unpredictable twists and turns, there are moments of pure joy that shine like beacons in the night. For Dani Donne, that radiant moment arrived when she discovered she was pregnant.</p> <p>It was a dream come true, a promise of new beginnings after the heartache of a previous miscarriage. Little did she know that this joyous revelation would be swiftly followed by a daunting diagnosis that would put her strength and resilience to the ultimate test.</p> <p>Just seven days after celebrating the news of her pregnancy, Dani received the devastating news: she had breast cancer. It was a staggering blow, one that shook her to her core. Fear gripped her heart as she worried for both her unborn child and herself. How could she face such a daunting battle while nurturing new life within her?</p> <p>But Dani's spirit refused to be dimmed by the darkness of uncertainty. With unwavering determination, she embarked on a journey that would challenge her in ways she never imagined. Surrounded by the compassionate care of specialists at Mater Hospital in Brisbane, Dani found a glimmer of hope among the shadows.</p> <p>Dr Catherine Shannon guided Dani through the complexities of her treatment. Diagnosed with HER2-positive breast cancer, Dani faced unique challenges as she navigated the delicate balance between her own health and the well-being of her unborn child. Yet, with the expertise of her medical team, Dani underwent surgery followed by a carefully orchestrated treatment plan that prioritised the safety of her precious baby.</p> <p>Throughout the ups and downs of her cancer journey, Dani found solace in the embrace of Mater Hospital's dedicated staff. Their unwavering support and encouragement served as a pillar of strength, bolstering her resolve during moments of doubt and fear. As she cradled her newborn daughter, Parker, in her arms, Dani reflected on the incredible journey that had brought them together.</p> <p>Despite the uncertainties that loomed on the horizon, Dani's story is one of triumph and resilience. With each step of her journey, she embodied the very essence of courage, facing adversity with grace and determination. And in the end, her unwavering spirit prevailed, ushering in a new chapter filled with boundless joy and endless possibilities.</p> <p>As Dani looks to the future with hope and gratitude, she serves as a beacon of inspiration for us all. Her story reminds us that even in the darkest of times, there is always light to be found. And with love, support and unwavering determination, we can overcome even the greatest of obstacles.</p> <p><em>Images: Mater Hospital</em></p>

Caring

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"I almost cried": Mum shocked by stranger's random act of kindness

<p>A mother-of-two has almost been reduced to tears by a stranger's random act of kindness in a busy cafe. </p> <p>The mum, a woman named Tyne, was at a cafe in the Sunshine Coast suburb of Mooloolaba with her husband and two young sons, when she struck up a conversation with a woman reading a book nearby. </p> <p>She said she felt a wave of guilt that her rowdy children were disrupting the woman's peaceful morning, and leaned over to apologise. </p> <p>The woman assured the mother there was nothing to apologise for, with the woman's next act leaving the mum speechless. </p> <p>“A beautiful (and full on) weekend away with Mr 3.5y & Mr 1.5y my husband and I sat with coffees at a beautiful cafe waiting for breakfast for us,” Tyne wrote in a Facebook group called The Kindness Pandemic, where people share stories of their heartwarming interactions with strangers. </p> <p>“I immediately apologised to the lovely lady sitting near us as she had a book and I was afraid the boys wouldn’t be too peaceful." </p> <p>“We were chatting for a little and then she left after her breakfast.”</p> <p>When the mum went to pay for her family’s bill, the cashier informed her that the stranger had “taken care of it” and handed her a heartwarming note.</p> <p>“It was such a pleasure sharing my brekkie space with you,” the note read.</p> <p>“Please keep doing what you’re doing. You’ve got a beautiful family.”</p> <p>Tyne said she “almost cried” when she realised that the stranger had paid for her family’s entire breakfast.</p> <p>The cafe was situated close to one of the Sunshine Coast’s most popular attractions, Sea Life Aquarium, where the family had planned to spend their day.</p> <p>“Hopefully you can splurge a little more at Sea Life today,” the stranger added in the note, before signing off, “Love Em.”</p> <p>The mum said she was overwhelmed by the stranger’s incredible act of kindness, saying she "almost cried".</p> <p>“She paid for us … And her kind words were what I needed to hear.”</p> <p>Tyne said the stranger was an “amazing soul” and vowed to pay it forward”.</p> <p>“If you are Em staying in Mooloolaba for work and went to a quirky local that’s your favourite … YOU ARE AN AMAZING SOUL!” she said.</p> <p>People in the comments also shared their reactions to the heartfelt gesture.</p> <p>“Lovely lady. Your children would be being just that, children. Don’t apologise about them,” one wrote.</p> <p>“What a beautiful person Em clearly is. This was so gorgeous to read.”</p> <p><em>Image credits: Facebook</em></p>

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“It’s not personal”: New mum shares divisive list of rules

<p dir="ltr">An expecting mum has divided opinions with an extensive list of strict rules her family and friends must follow if they want to meet her new baby. </p> <p dir="ltr">KIIS FM hosts Kyle Sandilands and Jackie O read out the list live on air, as they debated the rules and regulations put in place by the pregnant woman. </p> <p dir="ltr">The rules included not touching the baby, being vaccinated and only going to see the child if you've been asked, with the hosts asking listeners if they thought the rules were “too strict” or “reasonable”.</p> <p dir="ltr">“We're drawing closer to the birth of our daughter, and we couldn't be more excited, but unfortunately we have to implement some boundaries. We hope you can respect our wishes and no one takes these personally,” the mum's announcement read.</p> <p dir="ltr">First, the mum declared that there will be no information about the baby put online, including photos and information of the child’s name, or even an announcement that she had given birth. </p> <p dir="ltr">“If we want you to know, you'll know,” the mum outlined. </p> <p dir="ltr">Next, she said that only those who have “checked in” with the expecting parents since the announcement of the pregnancy will be notified of the birth. </p> <p dir="ltr">The mum took a brutal swing at anyone else she hasn't heard from and wrote, “Otherwise we have taken your silence as not being interested in our friendship and it is also reciprocated.”</p> <p dir="ltr">The couple went on to add that for the first two weeks following the birth, they will not be having any visitors. </p> <p dir="ltr">“No exceptions, no texts, no calls,” the mum wrote in capital letters, further explaining that no visitors will be welcome at either the hospital or at home. </p> <p dir="ltr">The couple also expect those who want to meet the baby to be vaccinated. </p> <p dir="ltr">“Don't be offended if we ask for proof. We will not be putting her health at risk,” the point read. </p> <p dir="ltr">The mum also asked visitors to “not smell of cigarettes or wear cologne or perfume that is too strong when meeting the baby”. </p> <p dir="ltr">Lastly, if family or friends visit the couple at home they will need to bring their own snacks and drinks.</p> <p dir="ltr">“Please do not expect to be hosted. Mum will probably be tired,” the list read. </p> <p dir="ltr">After sharing a video on TikTok, some mentioned the number one parenting rule of all: “their baby, their rules”. </p> <p dir="ltr">“Not a single one of those rules is unreasonable,” one person commented online. </p> <p dir="ltr">“The people triggered over this are the type of people these boundaries are intended for,” another added. </p> <p dir="ltr">However, others deemed the list as “passive aggressive”.  </p> <p dir="ltr">“Yeah right, nice knowing ya,” one wrote, while another said, “I hope she knows what she's doing.”</p> <p dir="ltr"><em>Image credits: Getty Images</em></p>

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Mum's list of chores for babysitter divides internet

<p>An American mum and schoolteacher has divided social media after she shared a list of chores that her 17-year-old babysitter could do for extra cash. </p> <p>Katrina Ivan hired a former student, who is now a senior in high school, to babysit her two-year-old son.</p> <p>The busy mum, who had been struggling to maintain her home, left an optional list of chores the babysitter could do for some extra cash. </p> <p>“You are more than welcome to hang out and watch TV but if you want to earn some extra cash these are up for grabs,” the note read.</p> <p>She claimed that her son was already asleep when the babysitter arrived at 7:30pm and she would be looking after him until 11:30pm.</p> <p>The babysitter was being paid $115.45 for the four hours of work.</p> <p>The extra chores included organising the kitchen island, which would earn the student $15, as would cleaning the windows and mirrors in the house and sweeping and mopping the kitchen floor.</p> <p>Cleaning out the fridge would earn the her $23, while vacuuming the couch would earn her $4.</p> <p>A few other optional chores included re-organising the toys, organising the kitchen island, and re-organising the silverware, which were all chores that would earn the student $15. </p> <p>The babysitter earned an extra $92 for the chores she chose, and a few social media users have said that this was a great idea. </p> <p> “I wish they did this when I was a babysitter. Would have loved the opportunity to earn extra," one wrote.</p> <p>“This is a great idea!! Sometimes it’s boring to just to sit and watch TV, this makes time go by quicker and sometimes it’s things I would do to help," another said. </p> <p>“I think since it’s optional or not you can give whatever amounts. It’s still the babysitters choice whether to do it or not,” a third added. </p> <p>However a few others weren't as impressed. </p> <p>“Those are 1990 prices,” one social media user wrote. </p> <p>“$23 for the fridge that’s wild," another added. </p> <p>“I think if you mention it ahead of time ‘oh I left a chore list if you’re interested in any of them it’s extra cash for you!’ Because if I just arrived to this note I might be a little uncomfortable,” a third said. </p> <p><em>Images: TikTok</em></p>

Family & Pets

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Aussie mum's outrage over neighbour's "creepy" act

<p>An Aussie mum has slammed her neighbour for being a "creep" after spotting a surveillance camera which she claims is pointed directly into her bathroom window. </p> <p>A photo taken of the set-up showed the camera poking out from underneath the blinds behind a window on the property next door. </p> <p>"It was facing the car park, and now it's facing my window [and it has] been there for the last four days," she wrote in the Facebook post, adding that she lives on private property and is not sure what to do. </p> <p>"It's facing my bathroom window. Disgusting. I have two young kids here."</p> <p>The post blew up, with hundreds of locals urging the mum-of-two to speak to her neighbour, put privacy screens, or tint her windows, to which the mum responded: "I shouldn't have to tint my windows to feel safe enough to have a shower." </p> <p> "I live on private property, he comes off as a creep."</p> <p>Despite revealing that she had issues with the neighbour in the past over her dog, the woman went and talked to the neighbour. </p> <p>"[I] went and spoke with them," she wrote. </p> <p>"Apparently it's not facing my backyard, only theirs, but clearly it is, so I will be taking it further.</p> <p>"It isn't for a backyard, it's for a car park that never gets used, only during the weekdays, but it's not even pointing anywhere near that direction anymore. It's legit right into my windows."</p> <p>Property lawyer Monica Rouvella told <em>Yahoo News</em> that there are several things the woman could do if this continues.</p> <p>"One of them is to contact the local police and they can come out and actually request to view that person's footage to see exactly what's been looked at," she said. </p> <p> "And then the police can actually, I believe, request that the camera be taken down or repositioned."</p> <p>She also said the Hunter Valley mum could try going through local councils, but they might refer back to the police. </p> <p>"The other takeaway is, you know, these days everybody has a camera on their house," she told the publication. </p> <p>"So you know, if you don't like that then don't do things you shouldn't be doing. But yeah, if it is directed at a person's house or window then that's a violation of that person's privacy." </p> <p><em>Images: Facebook</em></p> <p> </p>

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Mum slammed for being "stingy" after refusing to buy $2 snack for daughter's playdate

<p>A mum has come under fire for being "selfish" and "stingy" after refusing to buy a $2 snack for her 11-year-old daughter’s best friend.</p> <p>The woman, believed to be from the US, and her daughter Ellie were invited for a playdate at an indoor playground with 12-year-old Sophie and her mum.</p> <p>Sophie's mum offered to put them on her membership card so that Ellie and her mum could go to the indoor playground for free. </p> <p>“Sophie’s mum called me... and Sophie wanted to know if Ellie could come and play," she began in a Reddit thread called <em>Am I the a****** .</em></p> <p>"She offered to put me on her membership card so it would be free for me so I got Ellie in the car and we met them at the playground.” </p> <p>Trouble started when the girls got hungry after an hour of playing, and Ellie's mum only packed a snack for her daughter. </p> <p>“Sophie’s mum didn’t have any snacks on her,” she said.</p> <p>“I told her they sell snacks in the front but she claimed that she didn’t have any money on her and asked me to buy Sophie some Goldfish."</p> <p>Ellie's mum agreed to grab the crackers on one condition - Sophie's mum had to transfer the money to her. </p> <p>“She says she paid for my kid to get in so I could cover the $2 for the Goldfish. I said no, I took care of my kid and it’s not my job to take care of hers too.</p> <p>“I told her if she wanted me to bring snacks she should’ve told me when she invited me but I won’t be wasting $2 for a 50 cent bag of Goldfish because she was unprepared.”</p> <p>She added that Sophie's mum eventually managed to get snacks for her own daughter, and wondered "if she lied about not having money".</p> <p>She then accused Sophie's mum of being "petty" for asking her to pay back for “all the times” she's used her membership to get a guest pass at the indoor playground, adding that "they regularly pay for us to join them on outings.”</p> <p>Her post was met with over 2500 comments slamming her for being “selfish”, “stingy” and “ungrateful”.</p> <p>“You were invited to a place for free that you would otherwise have had to pay for. You only packed snacks for your child? Why didn’t you also take snacks for the other child?" one wrote. </p> <p>“Yes, you did not have to do so, and that child is not your responsibility, but if I was meeting someone for a playdate for my child, not paying to get in, knowing, at some point both girls were going to be hungry, I would have packed snacks for both, as a thank you for the invitation and just because," the commenter continued. </p> <p>“If someone asked me to transfer them $2, I’m rolling my eyes big time. It’s petty, especially when someone gave you something likely far more valuable," another added. </p> <p>“Seriously. I don’t even think I could tell a stranger no when it comes to feeding their hungry child, much less a person I know and spend time with," a third commented. </p> <p>Others called the mum a "fool", for potentially causing Ellie to lose her best friend.</p> <p>“Don’t be an idiot. Apologise. You might care about 50 cents. But your daughter will lose her best friend. And that is worth a lot more. Your daughter might never get a friend like that... And the fact that universe gift wrapped a friend for your daughter. And you choose to throw it in the trash. Wow, you are truly a fool," they said. </p> <p><em>Image: Getty</em></p> <p> </p>

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“This doesn’t make sense": Mum fined for parking in own driveway

<p>A Gold Coast mum couldn't believe her eyes when she found an almost $200 fine in her mail for parking in her own driveway. </p> <p>“I got a lovely fine from Gold Coast City Council for parking in my own driveway,” Megan Pass told <em>7News</em>. </p> <p>“This doesn’t make sense.</p> <p>“Everybody I’ve shared this with is going, ‘What the hell?’”</p> <p>The council claims that part of her driveway is located on council land so she was breaking the law by parking on it. </p> <p>The mother-of-three said that she has lived in the house for seven years and parked her car there every day and has never been fined before. </p> <p>The <a href="https://www.goldcoast.qld.gov.au/Planning-building/Development-applications/Development-application-types/Driveways-vehicular-crossings" target="_blank" rel="noopener">council website </a>states that there is an important difference between someone's driveway, which "ends at the property boundary", and a vehicular crossing, which is the section of  the driveway between the boundary and the road. </p> <p>The local law prevents people from parking over council land for more than two minutes, so Ms. Pass got fined $193. </p> <p>People took to social media to share their thoughts on Ms Pass' situation. </p> <p>“What a joke - revenue raising at its best,” one user tweeted. </p> <p>While another said: “Yip I got one of those fines lol. Just paid it. Don’t have time spare to go court to be told… you broke the law… pay the fine." </p> <p>“Will the mayor mow the footpath once a week and water it? That bloke’s a goose,” a third added. </p> <p><em>Images: 7News</em></p>

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Mum left shocked and distraught after Christmas gifts were stolen

<p>A young mum from Melbourne is "fuming" after a pile of Christmas gifts were stolen from her front porch. </p> <p>Mother-of-three Jasmine Yoong captured the young man allegedly taking five presents from her front door, which were due to be picked up by a courier and delivered to her friends. </p> <p>CCTV video captured the man stealing gifts from the front of the home in Melbourne’s west on Wednesday, holding them close to his chest before he threw them into his car and made a break for it.</p> <p>After discovering the footage of her gifts being stolen, Yoong decided to turn to TikTok in an attempt to get her presents back before going to the police. </p> <p>“I was so angry in that moment, I was so ... I was fuming,” she told <a href="https://7news.com.au/news/mum-fuming-after-man-allegedly-steals-christmas-presents-from-melbourne-home-c-12915860" target="_blank" rel="noopener"><em>7News</em></a>.</p> <blockquote class="instagram-media" style="background: #FFF; border: 0; border-radius: 3px; box-shadow: 0 0 1px 0 rgba(0,0,0,0.5),0 1px 10px 0 rgba(0,0,0,0.15); margin: 1px; max-width: 540px; min-width: 326px; padding: 0; width: calc(100% - 2px);" data-instgrm-permalink="https://www.instagram.com/reel/C03juMwJL3b/?utm_source=ig_embed&utm_campaign=loading" data-instgrm-version="14"> <div style="padding: 16px;"> <div style="display: flex; flex-direction: row; align-items: center;"> <div style="background-color: #f4f4f4; border-radius: 50%; flex-grow: 0; height: 40px; margin-right: 14px; width: 40px;"> </div> <div style="display: flex; flex-direction: column; flex-grow: 1; justify-content: center;"> <div style="background-color: #f4f4f4; border-radius: 4px; flex-grow: 0; height: 14px; margin-bottom: 6px; width: 100px;"> </div> <div style="background-color: #f4f4f4; border-radius: 4px; flex-grow: 0; height: 14px; width: 60px;"> </div> </div> </div> <div style="padding: 19% 0;"> </div> <div style="display: block; height: 50px; margin: 0 auto 12px; width: 50px;"> </div> <div style="padding-top: 8px;"> <div style="color: #3897f0; font-family: Arial,sans-serif; font-size: 14px; font-style: normal; font-weight: 550; line-height: 18px;">View this post on Instagram</div> </div> <div style="padding: 12.5% 0;"> </div> <div style="display: flex; flex-direction: row; margin-bottom: 14px; align-items: center;"> <div> <div style="background-color: #f4f4f4; border-radius: 50%; height: 12.5px; width: 12.5px; transform: translateX(0px) translateY(7px);"> </div> <div style="background-color: #f4f4f4; height: 12.5px; transform: rotate(-45deg) translateX(3px) translateY(1px); width: 12.5px; flex-grow: 0; margin-right: 14px; margin-left: 2px;"> </div> <div style="background-color: #f4f4f4; border-radius: 50%; height: 12.5px; width: 12.5px; transform: translateX(9px) translateY(-18px);"> </div> </div> <div style="margin-left: 8px;"> <div style="background-color: #f4f4f4; border-radius: 50%; flex-grow: 0; height: 20px; width: 20px;"> </div> <div style="width: 0; height: 0; border-top: 2px solid transparent; border-left: 6px solid #f4f4f4; border-bottom: 2px solid transparent; transform: translateX(16px) translateY(-4px) rotate(30deg);"> </div> </div> <div style="margin-left: auto;"> <div style="width: 0px; border-top: 8px solid #F4F4F4; border-right: 8px solid transparent; transform: translateY(16px);"> </div> <div style="background-color: #f4f4f4; flex-grow: 0; height: 12px; width: 16px; transform: translateY(-4px);"> </div> <div style="width: 0; height: 0; border-top: 8px solid #F4F4F4; border-left: 8px solid transparent; transform: translateY(-4px) translateX(8px);"> </div> </div> </div> <div style="display: flex; flex-direction: column; flex-grow: 1; justify-content: center; margin-bottom: 24px;"> <div style="background-color: #f4f4f4; border-radius: 4px; flex-grow: 0; height: 14px; margin-bottom: 6px; width: 224px;"> </div> <div style="background-color: #f4f4f4; border-radius: 4px; flex-grow: 0; height: 14px; width: 144px;"> </div> </div> <p style="color: #c9c8cd; font-family: Arial,sans-serif; font-size: 14px; line-height: 17px; margin-bottom: 0; margin-top: 8px; overflow: hidden; padding: 8px 0 7px; text-align: center; text-overflow: ellipsis; white-space: nowrap;"><a style="color: #c9c8cd; font-family: Arial,sans-serif; font-size: 14px; font-style: normal; font-weight: normal; line-height: 17px; text-decoration: none;" href="https://www.instagram.com/reel/C03juMwJL3b/?utm_source=ig_embed&utm_campaign=loading" target="_blank" rel="noopener">A post shared by 7NEWS Melbourne (@7newsmelbourne)</a></p> </div> </blockquote> <p>The 27-year-old mum took to social media to expose the opportunistic crook.</p> <p>“All that hard work for you to come and steal them off my front door when the postman was collecting them, and then he couldn’t collect them. Why? Because you stole them,” she said in the video, which reached more than two million views in one day.</p> <p>“All I want is my five parcels back.”</p> <p>Yoong admitted the idea may “sound stupid” but she hoped the video would find him.</p> <p>“My initial thought was, all right , let me go to the police straightaway,” she said.</p> <p>“I thought, well, what can I do to actually increase my chances of getting it back. I’ve seen TikTok do some pretty crazy things."</p> <p>“I didn’t want to ruin his life if it was just a snap of the moment decision, you know. I wanted to give him a chance to do the right thing, make it right.”</p> <p>Her TikTok video reached a worker at a nearby McDonalds, who said they had seen the man in fast food restaurant just before the presents were stolen. </p> <p>“He was apparently causing a ruckus, disrupting diners,” Yoong said.</p> <p>Yoong contacted her local police to report the theft after the parcels were not returned.</p> <div> <p>Her message to the crook is simple: “Just don’t take from others.”</p> <p>“It’s just a shortcut to steal from others ... everyone needs to work hard to get what they have,” she said.</p> <p><em>Image credits: 7News</em></p> </div>

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Oprah's weight-loss backflip: "I'm done with the shame"

<p>Oprah Winfrey has become one of the first A-list celebrities to openly admit that she has resorted to using weight loss medication after months of speculation, according to <em>Page Six</em>. </p> <p>“I now use it as I feel I need it, as a tool to manage not yo-yoing,” she told <em>People Magazine</em>. </p> <p>“The fact that there’s a medically approved prescription for managing weight and staying healthier, in my lifetime, feels like relief, like redemption, like a gift, and not something to hide behind and once again be ridiculed for.”</p> <p>The 69-year-old added, “I’m absolutely done with the shaming from other people and particularly myself.”</p> <p>This reversal comes after the actress rocked a <a href="https://www.oversixty.com.au/health/body/slimmed-down-oprah-addresses-ozempic-rumours" target="_blank" rel="noopener">slimmed down look</a> at the premiere for the reboot of <em>The Color Purple </em>last week. </p> <p>She had previously denied using weight loss drugs in an episode of<em> Oprah Daily’s The Life You Want: The State of Weight, </em>where she said turning to weight loss medication is "the easy way out.”</p> <p>Although she did not disclose exactly which drug she took, or whether it was the celebrity favourite Type II diabetes medication Ozempic, the media mogul revealed the reason why she had a change of heart. </p> <p>She told <em>People Magazine</em> that she became more open to using a pharmaceutical after conducting a panel discussion with medical experts in July.</p> <p>“I had the biggest ‘aha’ along with many people in that audience,” she said. </p> <p>“I realised I’d been blaming myself all these years for being overweight, and I have a predisposition that no amount of willpower is going to control.”</p> <p>She also shared the success she has had with the unnamed medication, claiming that she gained only half a pound “instead of gaining eight pounds like [she] did last year,” after Thanksgiving. </p> <p>Winfrey added that ultimately it wasn't about the number on the scale but “it was a second shot for me to live a more vital and vibrant life.”</p> <p>The O Magazine founder also said that the medication were just a larger part of her health and fitness regimen, which includes hiking. </p> <p>“I know everybody thought I was on it, but I worked so damn hard. I know that if I’m not also working out and vigilant about all the other things, it doesn’t work for me.”</p> <p><em>Images: </em><em>Arturo Holmes/The Hollywood Reporter via Getty Images</em></p> <p> </p>

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Why Tim Minchin chose to go on stage after his mum died

<p>Tim Minchin has shared why he went ahead with his Sydney concert the day after his mother passed away. </p> <p>Just weeks ago, Minchin<a href="https://oversixty.com.au/lifestyle/family-pets/tim-minchin-s-tragic-mid-show-announcement" target="_blank" rel="noopener"> took to the stage</a> at Sydney's State Theatre for his An <em>Unfunny Evening with Tim Minchin and his Piano</em> concert in front of 2,000 fans.</p> <p>The performance went ahead like any other show, until at the end of the concert, he shared with the audience that his mum had passed away the day before, after a three-year battle with cancer.</p> <p>The confession left the audience stunned, and many were moved to tears as Minchin asked for help to sing the final song of the night, Leonard Cohen’s <em>Hallelujah</em>.</p> <p>On Wednesday night, Minchin told <a href="https://oversixty.com.au/lifestyle/family-pets/tim-minchin-s-tragic-mid-show-announcement" target="_blank" rel="noopener"><em>news.com.au</em></a> that he wanted to still give his loyal fans an "honest" experience, and performing was his way of working through the devastating news. </p> <p>“I sort of didn’t know what else to do. I mean, that’s my job," he said. </p> <p>“I also really care that when I play gigs that people have an experience that feels honest, and it was the day after my mum died, so I thought I’d be honest about it."</p> <p>“Not because I wanted to manipulate them or get pity, but because everyone goes through those experiences, and that’s our job as artists to go, ‘I’ve experienced this and this is how I unpack it and maybe you’ll get something out of me talking about it and playing songs.”</p> <p>Minchin said he was proud of the show he put on that night in Sydney, but added, “I must admit, I can barely remember that night because I was just in this slightly otherworldly headspace”.</p> <p>After the moving performance in Sydney, audience members took to social media after the show, with comments including, “It felt like the audience held you in their arms during the final song, not a dry eye in the house”, and “Singing <em>Hallelujah</em> with 2000 other people … was by far the closest thing to a religious experience that I will ever have”.</p> <p>While Minchin's fans were all moved by the tribute to his mum, the musician was met with <a href="https://oversixty.com.au/health/caring/that-s-cheap-tim-minchin-attacked-by-former-senator-over-emotional-moment" target="_blank" rel="noopener">criticism</a> from <span style="caret-color: #212529; color: #212529; font-family: -apple-system, BlinkMacSystemFont, 'Segoe UI', Roboto, 'Helvetica Neue', Arial, sans-serif, 'Apple Color Emoji', 'Segoe UI Emoji', 'Segoe UI Symbol', 'Noto Color Emoji'; font-size: 16px; background-color: #ffffff;">former government minister Amanda Vanstone, who </span><span style="caret-color: #212529; color: #212529; font-family: -apple-system, BlinkMacSystemFont, 'Segoe UI', Roboto, 'Helvetica Neue', Arial, sans-serif, 'Apple Color Emoji', 'Segoe UI Emoji', 'Segoe UI Symbol', 'Noto Color Emoji'; font-size: 16px; background-color: #ffffff;">accused him of "cheapening" the experience by making it public. </span></p> <p><span style="caret-color: #212529; color: #212529; font-family: -apple-system, BlinkMacSystemFont, 'Segoe UI', Roboto, 'Helvetica Neue', Arial, sans-serif, 'Apple Color Emoji', 'Segoe UI Emoji', 'Segoe UI Symbol', 'Noto Color Emoji'; font-size: 16px; background-color: #ffffff;">However, the public response to Vanstone's comments was swift and overwhelmingly negative.</span></p> <p style="box-sizing: inherit; margin: 0px 0px 24px; padding: 0px; border: 0px; font-stretch: inherit; line-height: inherit; vertical-align: baseline;"><em>Image credits: Getty Images</em></p>

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“If you’re reading this, it means I have passed away”: Young mum announces own death

<p>Casey McIntyre, 38, has announced her own death in a heartbreaking post shared on Instagram. </p> <p>The mother-of-one from New York, passed away after a battle with stage four ovarian cancer on November 12. </p> <p>Casey's death was announced on Tuesday via <a href="https://www.instagram.com/p/CzmnPArO37i/?img_index=1" target="_blank" rel="noopener">a post</a> that she had penned before her passing, which was shared by her husband Andrew. </p> <p>The post showed a carousel of images highlighting special moments of Casey's life, including her childhood, their wedding and a few photos with their 18-month old daughter. </p> <p>The statement began: "A note to my friends: if you’re reading this it means I have passed away. I'm so sorry, it's horses*** and we both know it." </p> <p>"The cause was a recurrence of my previously diagnosed stage four ovarian cancer.</p> <p>"I loved each and every one of you with my whole heart and I promise you, I knew how deeply I was loved.</p> <p>"The five months in home hospice that I got to spend with my family and friends in Virginia, Rhode Island, and New York were magical." </p> <p>Tragically, Casey did not have the chance to finish her post, with her husband adding a tribute to his wife in an "editors note" which read: </p> <p>"Casey meant to finish this post with a list of things that were a comfort &amp; a joy to her during her life, and I am heartbroken that I will never see that list.</p> <p>"As she grew sicker, she couldn’t finish it," he explained. </p> <p>"I imagine it would’ve included our daughter Grace, whales, ice cream, her beloved friends, being at the beach, her niece and nephews she incorrigibly doted on, reading 10 books on a weeklong vacation, her beloved parents and sister and their amazing extended family, swimming, a perfect roast beef sandwich, and me, her sweet, sweet honey.</p> <p>"Oh Casey! I don't know how we will do it without you but we will," he ended the tribute, before asking loved ones to share "a note that was a comfort or joy" that they shared with Casey. </p> <p>He also shared details of Casey's memorial service and revealed his wife's last act of kindness, where she hoped to "celebrate" her life by setting up a <a href="https://ripmedicaldebt.org/campaign/andrewrosegregory-47569/" target="_blank" rel="noopener">fundraiser</a> to help pay off others' medical debt. </p> <p>"We will celebrate her life by anonymously purchasing medical debt and then anonymously forgiving it, hopefully with a bonfire if they will let us," Andrew wrote. </p> <p>As of today, $47,343 out of their $50,000 goal has been raised in honour of Casey. </p> <p>Tributes have poured in from loved ones in the comment section of her post. </p> <p>"Casey, in April 2019 on a phone call, you dreamed such big dreams for a book I didn’t yet believe in. They all came true. Your authors and colleagues were so lucky to have your humour, wit and light," wrote one friend.</p> <p>"You have left a beautiful legacy and you will be deeply missed. All my love to your family and your beautiful baby Grace. ❤️" </p> <p>"Casey you were so funny and sharp and beautiful and that light that shone through your eyes lit up the world," wrote another. </p> <p><em>Images: Instagram</em></p> <p> </p>

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